Burnt Out SettlementPrivate satire calculator

For meetings that could have been avoided

Calculate what work owes your mood.

A fake settlement calculator for useless meetings, corporate nonsense, and the tiny rewards that keep you from logging off forever.

How It Flows

Three steps. No healing required.

Step 1

Pick coping target

Choose what this meeting is paying for in spirit.

Step 2

Track meeting damage

Start the timer. Let the salary math do its tiny crime.

Step 3

Get imaginary receipt

Walk away with a fake receipt and a slightly cleaner soul.

Product Notes

Made after one meeting too many.

Made by a burnt-out big tech worker with too many feelings and a browser tab.

It is part calculator, part vent, part tiny protest against calendar life.

Still rough. Still changing. Secretly hoping the joke escapes containment.

Made For

  • People who say "sounds good" and mean absolutely not.
  • Anyone trapped in a meeting with no clear reason to exist.
  • Workers turning irritation into jokes to stay employable.

If this made you feel seen, you can toss a tiny tip into the vent fund.

FAQ

Questions a compliance department might ask.

Short answers. No follow-up sync.

Is this legal advice?+

No. It is a joke in calculator form. Please do not bring it to court, HR, or your next review.

Is my salary saved?+

No. It runs in your browser. No login, no account, no salary database.

Why does this exist?+

Because meetings keep happening, and inner peace was not shipping this quarter.

How serious is the math?+

Serious enough for the bit. Not serious enough for payroll.

Ready When Your Calendar Is

Start before the next sync finds you.

Calculate My Settlement